Do you ever get so nervous that all you want to do is run? Maybe it’s before a big performance or right before making a speech in front of a large audience. Either way, those are situations where a little anxiety is expected, right? But how about going to work every day? Do you get nervous or scared about going to work everyday? Because I am always nervous about going to school.
It’s been seven months since the first day of school and every Sunday night, I still wonder if I can get up the next morning and make it to school so much so that sometimes, I think I should just quit. I honestly don’t know why I feel this way. My principal has told me that I’m pretty decent for a first year teacher, I know my students like me, and I really do love my job, but every Sunday night and especially the Sunday after a long break, all I want to do is run away and hide.
Nevertheless, every Monday morning I get up, groggily ride the city bus to school, and once I unlock the door to my tiny classroom and take a good look around, all the anxiety melts away. It’s the strangest thing, but it really makes me wonder about how my students feel about going to school each day.
I know for a fact that one of my students loves school — he craves the attention, the structure, and the opportunities to learn. Another one of my students is so happy all the time that he simply loves everything. Two of my younger students certainly don’t love school, but while they hate it in the mornings, as soon as they get started, they don’t want to go home in the afternoons.
I do have one student though, who I know is in the right placement now (finally after years of gen. ed. and resource) and while he is very vocal about the fact that he does not enjoy school whatsoever, finally feels comfortable. It’s very exciting because he used to be so scared all day long that he never spoke in class and rarely lifted his head up to even look at the teacher in the front of the room. He was really and truly scared all day long. So while I continue to be nervous every Sunday night, I could not imagine being scared all day long.
How about you? Is there anything that makes you nervous about going to school each day? Are there parts of the day that are more nerve-wracking than others? How do you calm yourself down before, during, and after anxiety-filled situations?
I will tell you, one upcoming anxiety-filled situation is getting ready to leave my room in the hands of a substitute while I’m in Denver next week. Just thinking about writing those lesson plans and not having any idea of what’s going to happen is making me bite my fingernails!